Ah yes, the absolute awe (and lowkey horror) of having someone in your life who feels bigger than you. It’s as if they radiate electricity you’re hoping will rub off on you via proximity, but even if it doesn’t at least you get to be in their magnetic field. But then! they say something that makes you feel needed and special and suddenly you’re also magnetic in some small way that fills you with some insane warmth that’s honestly hard to describe.
Losing it feels like a small death because you know the chances of recreating it are 0/1000 which only tempts you to get it back from the original source but…some things are meant to stay lost.
I feel like I’ve just read some piece of my own mind. This is extraordinary!! I somehow can’t stop missing my old childhood friends even though it was living in hell, but the new ones don’t feel the same either
Ahh friendship breakups are something I know all too well. I’m still healing from most of them, and turned to Substack to help me feel less alone in this experience. Thank you for sharing such a raw and vulnerable piece. So beautifully written. Wishing you joy.
Radioactive friendship breakups do really often hurt more than romantic ones, huh? We need more songs about them! Went through something like this myself recently. It gets better with time but the heartbreak stays a part of you even as the wound scabs over.
Thank you thank you thank you for this piece. I feel like you just spoke some of my own thoughts I’ve never been able to piece together and make sense of. It made me feel less alone. Thank you again
From being the unexplainable close friend of someone popular and likeable, to the confused drifting apart that an 11pm text doesn't even encapture in a way that properly explain the drift.
“They love me, but they don’t need me” wow, I got chills. It’s so validating to feel needed, to feel connected at the hip despite the inherent toxicity of dependency. How can we trust friendships where that’s not the case? I have no idea. Thank you for sharing this, you verbalized what I cannot yet.
This is such a comforting read. i lost a best friend too, but reading this made me feel like in my story, I’m half like Chip and half of what you said you were feeling too. She was also one of my biggest heartbreak. It took me whole year to stop talking about how much i miss her. Hugs to you for this vulnerable piece. <3 lovely words
Still enduring the aftermath of a horrific friendship break up, and this touched me so deeply, your writing is so beautiful. I can acknowledge that it couldnt have continued any longer but that doesnt stop me from feeling her absence like a hole so uniquely shaped that it wont ever be filled !
Really enjoyed this post Arianna. So honest and true and beautiful. Love the description of the symbiotic relationship, I could imagine you two so vividly. Thank you for that!
And even though it doesn't feel like accomplished writing to you; it is. It captures the tricky and unending nature of break-ups, especially friendship break-ups. Hope it becomes easier for you!
Thank you so much. I felt like I was reading my own thoughts. Female friendship breakups are indeed more hurtful than romantic ones, but I believe they’re sometimes necessary to become who we’re meant to be...
I experienced a similarly gut-wrenching best friend breakup over six months ago now. Writing is usually my catharsis for anything, and I share your frustration that it feels too overwhelming to put into words. Everything I produce barely seems to scratch the surface of the depth of our connection, and I too am searching for answers, or "solving the riddle," of the traumatic way it ended. You put this unique pain into words, and it made me open a blank page and try again. Thank you.
I actually got super emotional reading this cause I'm a 22yr old introvert who has had some of the most heartbreaking friendship breakups recently. I could have been okay with one but it's multiple different ppl old and new and I think I'm struggling to make sense of it all and maybe I don need to. Thank you so much for sharing this cause I really resonate with this and hope to let go completely.
Ah yes, the absolute awe (and lowkey horror) of having someone in your life who feels bigger than you. It’s as if they radiate electricity you’re hoping will rub off on you via proximity, but even if it doesn’t at least you get to be in their magnetic field. But then! they say something that makes you feel needed and special and suddenly you’re also magnetic in some small way that fills you with some insane warmth that’s honestly hard to describe.
Losing it feels like a small death because you know the chances of recreating it are 0/1000 which only tempts you to get it back from the original source but…some things are meant to stay lost.
This!!!
I feel like I’ve just read some piece of my own mind. This is extraordinary!! I somehow can’t stop missing my old childhood friends even though it was living in hell, but the new ones don’t feel the same either
Ahh friendship breakups are something I know all too well. I’m still healing from most of them, and turned to Substack to help me feel less alone in this experience. Thank you for sharing such a raw and vulnerable piece. So beautifully written. Wishing you joy.
Radioactive friendship breakups do really often hurt more than romantic ones, huh? We need more songs about them! Went through something like this myself recently. It gets better with time but the heartbreak stays a part of you even as the wound scabs over.
This made me cry. The end of a friendship is by far the most oddly devastating end of a relationship. Thank you for writing! ❤️
Thank you thank you thank you for this piece. I feel like you just spoke some of my own thoughts I’ve never been able to piece together and make sense of. It made me feel less alone. Thank you again
🫶
Love this! I find that surrounding myself with people who get poetry makes for great conversations that go deeper than I ever thought possible.
I’ve been there before. It’s possible to love someone but need them to be gone from your life. Love isn’t always functional. Thanks for sharing!
This is something I can very much relate to.
From being the unexplainable close friend of someone popular and likeable, to the confused drifting apart that an 11pm text doesn't even encapture in a way that properly explain the drift.
“They love me, but they don’t need me” wow, I got chills. It’s so validating to feel needed, to feel connected at the hip despite the inherent toxicity of dependency. How can we trust friendships where that’s not the case? I have no idea. Thank you for sharing this, you verbalized what I cannot yet.
❤️
This is such a comforting read. i lost a best friend too, but reading this made me feel like in my story, I’m half like Chip and half of what you said you were feeling too. She was also one of my biggest heartbreak. It took me whole year to stop talking about how much i miss her. Hugs to you for this vulnerable piece. <3 lovely words
Thank you❤️
Still enduring the aftermath of a horrific friendship break up, and this touched me so deeply, your writing is so beautiful. I can acknowledge that it couldnt have continued any longer but that doesnt stop me from feeling her absence like a hole so uniquely shaped that it wont ever be filled !
Thank you <3
Really enjoyed this post Arianna. So honest and true and beautiful. Love the description of the symbiotic relationship, I could imagine you two so vividly. Thank you for that!
And even though it doesn't feel like accomplished writing to you; it is. It captures the tricky and unending nature of break-ups, especially friendship break-ups. Hope it becomes easier for you!
Thank you so much. I felt like I was reading my own thoughts. Female friendship breakups are indeed more hurtful than romantic ones, but I believe they’re sometimes necessary to become who we’re meant to be...
I experienced a similarly gut-wrenching best friend breakup over six months ago now. Writing is usually my catharsis for anything, and I share your frustration that it feels too overwhelming to put into words. Everything I produce barely seems to scratch the surface of the depth of our connection, and I too am searching for answers, or "solving the riddle," of the traumatic way it ended. You put this unique pain into words, and it made me open a blank page and try again. Thank you.
The love we receive from those who become the reason we realise we are, in fact, worthy of love, is the hardest to replace.
I actually got super emotional reading this cause I'm a 22yr old introvert who has had some of the most heartbreaking friendship breakups recently. I could have been okay with one but it's multiple different ppl old and new and I think I'm struggling to make sense of it all and maybe I don need to. Thank you so much for sharing this cause I really resonate with this and hope to let go completely.